Connect with Your Cohort: Building Lifelong Bonds in Grad School

Grad school can be tough, isolating, and at times, downright exhausting. There are the late-night study sessions, the ever-looming deadlines, and the stress of mandatory courses like that dreaded stats class. But here’s one of the most important pieces of advice I can offer: connect with your cohort. Your peers are navigating the same challenges you are, and building those connections can transform your grad school experience into something far more fulfilling, supportive, and even fun.

Why Bonding with Your Cohort Matters

Graduate school is not a solo mission. Sure, you have your own thesis to write, your own research to conduct, and your own exams to pass, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. Bonding with your cohort creates a built-in support system of people who understand your struggles because they’re experiencing them too. They know the pressure of comprehensive exams, the anxiety of presenting at your first conference, and the confusion of tackling that impossible statistical method.

Working together, celebrating each other's milestones, and supporting each other through the tough times can make all the difference. When you collaborate instead of compete, you create a network of allies who help you through the rough patches and cheer you on when you succeed.

My Cohort Experiences: A Tale of Two Programs

I was lucky to have amazing cohorts in both my master’s and PhD programs. In my master’s program, we were in the trenches together—academically, yes, but also in the everyday realities of grad student life. We attended conferences together, sometimes cramming three of us into one bed to save costs (the epitome of grad student budgeting!). We celebrated birthdays, and when we needed a break, we took a trip to Banff, a nearby city where we could relax and unwind.

In my PhD program, the bond was just as strong. We celebrated every milestone, from passing our comprehensive exams to surviving the proposal defenses. We sang our hearts out at karaoke nights, gave each other feedback on papers, and even co-wrote some of those papers together. Those connections didn’t just make the journey bearable; they made it memorable. And trust me, the memories of belting out your favorite song (mine is Fantasy by Mariah Carey) with your peers after a long semester are just as valuable as any academic achievement.

How to Build Those Bonds

So how do you connect with your cohort and build those lifelong bonds? Here are a few ideas:

1. Share Your Struggles: Everyone finds grad school hard at times. Be open about your challenges, whether it’s that mandatory stats course or the never-ending comprehensive exams. You’ll be surprised how much it helps to know others feel the same way. Share resources, offer tips, and study together. There’s strength in numbers!

2. Celebrate the Wins (Big and Small): Whether it’s passing a major milestone, getting through a tough week, or having a successful presentation, celebrate each other’s achievements. Plan small gatherings, grab a coffee together, or have a group dinner. These moments build a sense of community and remind you all that you’re in this together.

3. Show Up for Each Other: Attend each other’s conference presentations, seminars, and talks. Not only does this show support, but it also helps you learn more about your peers’ research and deepen your understanding of the field. Being there for one another, especially in those high-pressure moments, creates bonds that last long after graduation.

4. Plan Some Fun: You need to step away from academia sometimes, so plan non-academic activities! Go on a group trip, have karaoke nights, or host a casual dinner at someone’s place. These activities help you connect as people, not just as students, and that personal connection will be your anchor during the tough times.

5. Collaborate, Don’t Compete: It’s easy to fall into the trap of competition, especially when everyone is aiming for the same scholarships, grants, and publications. But don’t let that ruin the special bond you can have with your cohort. Collaborate on projects, give each other feedback, and build each other up. Academic success isn’t a zero-sum game; your cohort’s achievements don’t diminish your own.

Final Thoughts

The connections you build with your cohort can make your grad school experience so much better. They’re the ones who will lift you up when you’re feeling down, who will understand your academic rants, and who will celebrate every step you take toward your degree. And the best part? These bonds often extend beyond grad school. Many of my cohort friends have become lifelong colleagues and collaborators, enriching my professional life in ways I never anticipated.

So, don’t overlook the value of connecting with your peers. Reach out, support each other, and have fun together. Grad school is a rollercoaster, but it’s one that’s so much better when you’re sharing the ride with friends.